I don't think I'm missing myself. I've changed here. Quite a bit. I'm quiet and non-intrusive, less-buoyant, well, come to think of it, I'm finally comfortable being myself. In my own element. But sometimes, I just breakdown. Like I did yesterday. Time was so still. No wonder suicides take place is such a jiffy, it's all about the moment, and then again, a distraction here and there would let you feel otherwise. But your mind, it won't let you go off so easily. Yesterday I had severe fever, it would come on and then go away as fast as it had come. I began missing my mom because she's always there, you know.
She's my God and my dad he's the hugest, if that's a word, pillar of strength for me, my brother, we'll talk about him some other time. But yup these three are why I am really alive on this lovely planet and make me feel the real reason why it's important to grow. The reason why I'm here is because they believed in me. Yesterday, a painfully bitter truth came forward. That My mom happens to be the only one I wish to call and count on when I'm super low. I tried my friends, some of them gave me home remedies to try as I had fever, one of them literally skipped the bad part - about my fever, and digressed on the topic that related to "herself and her career" and well another friend didn't even pick up my phone call, or returned it. I think as we grow older, we get immersed in our own self, our own life than really bother about what a friend is going through. We all have these painfully bitter moments, but who throws us a rope in that is the one we start to cherish over a period of time.
Believe me, I make it a point to meet those I chat with, phone to, while I'm back home. Because they are worth every effort and because they love you just the way you love them, that's pretty special isn't it?
Love, it's actually pretty simple. You just have to get wiser to accept it. I'm just a few miles from accepting the truth.
