There is something that I discovered that was so real, after a separation, the feelings are in turmoil, they almost never stop existing, then time comes in this fiasco, he helps us learn the ups and downs and we realise if we should let go or not. Sometimes, we do let go, in fear, in the hopelessness of what we think our pursuit is and then, we just wait, a long wait, we never tell but always count the days to which we can take the pressure and then some of us succumb, the weak hearted of course. It's like a test, a horrible test, which even Sita had to relent. She did. and she passed. That was ridiculous of course, but this bit about not letting go is real. It's about how much we seem to attach ourselves to those who live in the surreal, who conjure a world not just for us but for a population of numbskulls that we once were. When we do succumb when we weren't going to, we simply dive in and claim our prize. We get our prize and then we start viciously thinking that whether we are just puppets or we have something real. We return the prize in the most graceful manner and we strut off believing that we've finished this game.
Who are we kidding? My friends know me better. They are living legends to this piece of art. It's nothing special to live with a migraine for a whole day and learn that fool had a fracture. Seriously? Now you're angry and you want to smack him so hard, to making every little thing about the own selfish self. It's trying. Then you return, you remember, you try to suppress and then you realise you do miss that silly oaf, and you ask about his health, never about wherabouts, how does it matter when you're 7000 miles away? You then forget about it, you try to, then once suddenly you wake up and realise you've lost the only thing you cared about and you check up again. Only to realise someone's miserable on the other end and you feel your heartstrings go loose and then the smile, the familiar soft toy takes your breath away. You let go that day wondering if he'd remember you again. You try so hard to forget. You try your best. Then, you succumb. You hear the voice you smile, you're loved. The knight is zapped and he brings you to the pearly gates of warm and fuzziness. You smile at each other the longest time and then you fall in love. And then the wait starts again. It's the longest and troubling, but you remember some words and you remember the smile and the little heart that's inside and that fuzzy animal who's waiting for you to come back home. That's totally worth it.
