It has been around 6 months. But things are different. I'm wide awake. And here I am.
One thing I'd like to share with you over this whole idea of heartbreaks is that never ever lose your own essence of being. Be strong, because the only person who can help you get back on your feet is you. I took a trip to the most deserted part of the country, in a bid to find myself. Did I find myself? I guess not. I was still searching. I escaped normalcy. That doesn't mean I was dead. But I wasn't. I was just on another planet. Less strong. There were tears and the level of interest I had in movies, books, every little thing that gave me life, became the reason to wilt some more. We can't really control these things. We find ways to escape. Becoming a weak person is not the solution, because the only person you are betraying is yourself. When I look back at the things I've done, I realise that as I speak, I am now a much better person. It took me a really long time, but 6 months is decent to get over something right? But it's really tragical. Of how we let our life be controlled by some uncaring soul.
But I know one thing. Life teaches us a lot. It teaches us love. Hate. Forgiveness. Unconditional love. It's beautiful that way. It's amazing how I learnt little things in life and how much I enjoyed my life living those moments, and someone comes and takes them back, you are left with nothing. But then you realise, how much you love your friends, your parents, you realise everything that you had ignored come back to life, as you slowly wilt inside. You are left with ashes of things that you believed to be true.
Then one day, you muster courage, you face it all again, you stay away from hurt, you guard yourself closely, you don't let anyone close, you let yourself be, you grow happier, but gloomy still, then one day you find a goal, a long lost one, you work towards it, reality seems to make you feel alive again, then you learn to smile for a while longer, then you sit and watch the world go by
and one day you stop hurting.
One day, you can face it all. One day, you tell yourself that you'll learn to be there. One day, you forgive. One day, compassion takes over. One day you learn, that your spirit is richer and pure and beautiful, and that love has no boundaries, it cares, it envelopes, it makes you strong. everyday.
I am here. I have always been here. This blog has seen my ups and my downs. It will always remain what it's supposed to be. True to myself.
